Be careful what traditions you start
Valentine’s Day… the day for cards and candy and chocolate. A couple years ago, in a moment of weakness at Walgreens, I bought each of the kids books and toys, which they were delighted to find on the breakfast table on February 14th. A fun surprise, since it coincided with our winter break. This was, however, a distant memory of mine when Cupid day came around this year, and my 7-year old said on February 13th, “I wonder what I will get on Valentine’s Day?” Wait. What?! It’s not THAT kind of a holiday, is it?!
We all have traditions from our childhoods. I used to sleep in my older brother Mike’s second twin bed the night before Christmas, and we’d keep each other up with our excitement about the morning to come. The night before Easter, we would make a “family” of all the stuffed animals to welcome the Easter Bunny as he hid our eggs. And there are non-holiday traditions, too. My dad took each of us (me and my two older brothers) on a ski trip when we turned sixteen, just one on one, which was a fun milestone and adventure for each of us.
I now find myself replicating some of these happy memories for my kids. When James was in second grade, I took him by himself to the crown of the Statue of Liberty. I emphasize “by himself” because when you have siblings, there is rarely a lot of individual time. While it took some advance planning to get the tickets to the crown, and to take a day off of work that coincided with one of the many September school holidays, it wasn’t a big time commitment. We were back by mid-afternoon and had toured Lady Liberty, Ellis Island, and even taken a ride on a new seahorse merry-go-round downtown. The train ride in itself would have been memorable, with my little guy by my side. I can’t wait to take Lara next year when she is in second grade; hopefully the crown will re-open by then so we can wind our way up and peer through windows at the top.
Covid brought new family traditions, the best of which might be a Friday night dance party, in our living room. Needed: sparkly dresses (check), disco light (check), and dance moves (check). Daddy pancakes on Saturday morning (thank you, Chris!), Leprechaun shenanigans on St. Patrick’s Day morning, family bike rides to the cul-de-sac down the street, and others I can’t recall at the moment.
But, when you have kids the ages we do, between 3–9, be careful what you do once, because kids pick up quickly and claim it as tradition, locking you into repeating events like milk and a story every morning before breakfast. Just as you are cautioned to set expectations in a new job, to not reply to emails at all hours or that will be expected of you, parents, beware! “Oops,” I said to myself, running out to the bookstore for some activity books and Valentine’s crafts for the kiddos. I guess it IS that kind of a holiday, for us! A tradition is born…
