Progress, not perfection…

In theme with our rainbow Unicorn pandemic birthday extravaganza, Lara got a Paint Your Unicorn kit for her 6th birthday. Yesterday, she diligently sat down to paint making it for her baby cousin who Lara was so happy was coming home from the hospital after being treated for the rare inflammation some children get from exposure to Covid. Lara painted from a place of love and happiness for Grace, wondering what her favorite colors area, choosing colors she was drawn to, making the face golden, a mane with a pink stripe down the middle.

Today, Lara woke up distraught. The problem, she said, still under the covers, is that the picture on the instructions is perfect and her Unicorn isn’t perfect. How can she make it perfect? Can she start over? Can she wash it off?

We are all confronted with unrealistic expectations and images of how things should be, and everything we do somehow fails to measure up. I wish for Lara that she can learn to focus on progress and not perfection. And just because the picture on the box shows the words “Be Magical” perfectly painted in bright sequential colors doesn’t mean that her creative vision is wrong.

So I’ve been thinking, how can I as a parent help my daughter grapple with her perfectionist tendencies (inherited from me, no doubt), which can paralyze and stop any progress and, over time, diminish self-confidence? How can I help her learn to trust her own instincts and free her up to realize her own version of beautiful? How do I model a spirit of experimentation and ability to take risks?

I need to demonstrate through my actions, a commitment to progress not perfection, as a start. And maybe from now on, I’ll hide the box with pictures of the “perfect” finished project.

(Note: This was written in January 2021. I haven’t figured out how to import a previous story to Medium yet…)